hot coffee girl

An excerpt from Phil's Proof:

The blogosphere is dead. Truly. I’m lazy when it comes to finding new blogs to read. I like to pick out a few comfortable places to settle down with, then ride ‘em out till the end. Unfortunately, it seems most of these wonderful blogs have slowly but surely lapsed into stagnation. I have to wonder though, what is the average lifetime of a blog? From experience, it seems to be under 2 years. Blogs with their own domain — indicative of perhaps more dedication by its owner — seem to last a little longer, but not much. My two gal pals have deserted me; enter Melodrama. Hot Coffee Girl has posted a few rubbish entries (yes, you heard me, woman — absolute rubbish!), and Rhys has more or left me for dead. Probably for her burgeoning webcam fetish business.

Hey, Phil, big talk from a man who left his Christmas Template up until well into the New Year.  

So, I am posting for shit about shit. What do you want to hear? That I get up, go to work, come home, and do it all again the next day? Yawn. I am boring. I have nothing to say. I am not miserable. I am just pabulum. Vanilla ice cream. Beige.

I want to be eye-bursting green again, I just don't know how to get it back.  

Maybe when I go see Avitable later this month, he'll have some extra lying around he can lend me.

I am at the end of Crazy Road. No guarantees that I won't be making a left onto Insane Boulevard next week, but for the time being, I can truly see that light at the end of the tunnel that you all speak of.

Like Phil, I have been so busy that my writing has sucked. More than usual. So has everything else. I have not given time or attention to my nails (which need painted), my eyebrows (which need waxed), my apartment (which needs cleaned), my friends (who need visited), my Boy (who needs loved), my Dog (who needs fed), my Cat (who needs kicked), my Dad (who needs me, just in general), my clothes (that need washed), and my plants (that need watered). Wait. I don't have any plants.

Add to list: Buy plants. Then water them. 

I make this promise to you, my dear readers and friends...I will pick it up a notch next week. In the meantime, please go visit one of my friends and her funny new blog, Confessions of a Cohabitant.  She describes the trials and tribulations of living with her boyfriend, whom she just moved in with. Here's a peek:

Do you understand how much he likes his hair? Let me describe to you his routine: He uses Tresemme styling putty and puts on a little at a time to get it to sit just right. However, as he's adding little by little, he whips out this miniature mirror so he can see what the back of his hair looks like and those few sections of hair that just won't lay right. Then, you know when he means business when he does this thing with his lips. As he's concentrating on his hair, or anything for that matter, he tightens his lips up like he means business. And, apparently, he does.

You'll love her. Go and tell her I said hello. I'll be back on Monday morning, with less suckage. I swear. (Psst-I might even take tomorrow off.)

You might have discerned from a few posts back that I just recently gave a presentation at work on personal blogging. It was fairly basic in nature...a Blogging 101, if you will.

What I didn't really cover was a list of don'ts...The list of things that you should NOT do/avoid in creating a good personal blog. I have my own set of preferences/things I think are annoying, and I know that many of you at different points have posted about this.  I didn't think that it was exactly the venue for telling people what to do. I prefer to be more judgy off the clock.

What would make my list? Tons of blinkies. Three column layouts. Tons of pixies. Oy.

What do you think is the single most annoying thing that a person can do/have on their blog? (Aside from eye-bursting green. Bwahaha.)  

Heh. For some reason, Mr. Joe thought I was interesting enough to interview. (He's drunk a lot, from what I understand.) Go, go. Check it out.

Here's an excerpt:

Sum up what your blog is about for us.
Everyday life, my own personal quest for truth, the writers I read, that bitch who cut me off in traffic this morning…it’s all there in eye-bursting green.

What do people commonly say about your site?
That it doesn’t suck as bad as Avitable’s.
That and I am totally a waste of talent.

I would write a post for you today, but I just read this on Non-Working Monkey's site, and I have to concede.

Someone in Starbucks ("Er ... I'll have a cappuccino please. With two extra shots." "TWO? You SURE?" "Yes, I would like it to taste of coffee". "You want syrup wid tat?" "Do I look like a cretin?"), gets a pint of milk, then Lucifer passes by and squirts in it.

I am a big enough person to admit when I have been beaten. Go. Go. It's funny as hell, and quite instructional as well.